SERMON SERIES
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“All the Beloved”

Matthew 3:13-17

Delivered by Rev. Ray Kostulias

At the United Church in Walpole

January 13, 2008

A gossip columnist asked the actor, Nathan Lane, if he was gay. Nathan Lane replied: “I’m over 40. I’m not married. I’m in the theater. You do the math!”

You may know that, as a young man, I spent a good many years in the theatre. I was not over 40 and I was married. But many of my best friends from that era-some of whom I’m still in touch with-were gay. Fellow actors, directors, dancers, musicians. People I respected and admired not only for their talent and creativity but equally for their character and personality. Not every gay person was a likeable individual. Neither was every straight person I met. What I learned in those years is that we cannot, and must not judge anyone based on sexual orientation. To do so is simply an example of prejudice and prejudice is, simply, judging those we do not really know.

The advantage I had in the theater was the opportunity to get to know people who happened to be gay. They became my friends. And once that relationship was established, I could never again place them in an abstract category such as homosexual. They were real to me. They were important to me. I cared about them. That’s what really mattered and their sexual orientation could not change that.

There used to be a billboard where I lived in Bergen County, New Jersey, and all it said was, “Someone you love is gay.”

If this is true for all of us – and I sincerely believe it is – then I want to urge us this morning to trust love to conquer doubt.

I am aware of the doubts that exist among us. Not the vicious hatred expressed by some in our society. I don’t believe for a moment that there is anyone in this church who wishes harm to gays and lesbians or condones the violence and injustice directed toward them.

In surveys of the congregation, the ONA Task Force found unanimous support for the civil rights and human rights of all people regardless of sexual orientation, or any other factor. Where the uneasiness came in was in the affirming part of ONA. Isn’t homosexuality a sin? Isn’t it condemned in the Bible? Should we be affirming something that may be evil in God’s sight?

One of the principles adopted by the ONA Task Force from the outset was complete transparency: to be as above board, honest and candid as possible in every statement that was issued. No soft-pedaling or sugar-coating our answers to the questions we were asked.

And so, ONA’s answer to the question, Is it a sin? is: No, it is not.

There are some churches and some preachers today who like to say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” You’re welcome among us as long as you’re willing to repent.

My gay friends tell me they want no part of this, that it’s really a slap in the face, disguised as a word of welcome. They’re not interested in being told that in a fundamental aspect of their lives they are corrupt and sinful.

Gays and lesbians have fought bravely for so many years to escape from this bigoted branding. At long last they are not apologizing for their lifestyle. They are claiming it and cherishing it, and they’re not going back to the tragic self-hatred and self-destructive guilt of the past. That’s why this issue is with us, and it’s not going away. Because gays and lesbians will no longer consent to being defined by heterosexual society. They will define themselves.

ONA says, No, homosexuality is not a sin. It’s not a sin because sin involves a conscious choice. People don’t choose to be gay, any more than people choose to be straight. Research is conclusive: sexual orientation is something we’re born with.

Homosexuality is not a sin because sin, as I understand it, involves some harm, to the self or to others. It’s never been explained to me how two men loving each other or two women loving each other, does harm, to themselves or to anyone else.

But doesn’t the Bible condemn homosexuality? Well, a few biblical writers condemn homosexuality. But these same writers say a lot of other things we don’t think twice about disregarding. Paul says, “Slaves, obey your masters.” I don’t hear anyone using this verse to defend slavery today. Of course not. Paul was speaking in another time, with another mindset. Now we can see that he was wrong. We’ve moved on to a better understanding.

Paul says women should be quiet in church. That doesn’t stop us form asking Roberta Cadoret to be the lay reader this morning. Paul was wrong. We’ve moved on to a better understanding.

Isn’t it possible Paul was also wrong about homosexuality and that we’ve moved on to a better understanding?

For me, the most convincing fact in this biblical discussion is the absolute silence of Jesus on this matter. Not one word, not one hint of a word in all the gospels. I can’t imagine, if homosexuality were such an abomination, such a danger, such a grievous sin, that Jesus would not have given some word of warning, some word of caution, to his beloved disciples. I can’t imagine that there were not some gays and lesbians among his followers yet nowhere does Jesus say, Repent and change your sexual orientation.

What I can imagine is Jesus coming up from the water of baptism, hearing the voice of God saying, “This is my beloved son…” And I can imagine that Jesus heard that not only as an affirmation of himself, but as an affirmation of all people, all the beloved, all of them precious to God.

This was the loving God Jesus believed in. This was the loving God Peter preached when he said, “Truly I perceive that God shows no partiality…”

Can we bring ourselves to show “no partiality…?”

I realize it’s not easy to shed the assumptions of centuries and entertain a new point of view. It’s not easy to overcome disturbing feelings which seem so natural we think they must be right.

But I believe the Spirit of Christ is with us to enable us to do what is not easy. So I ask us all to consider doing this, as difficult as it may seem; to give the proposed ONA covenant a chance to work in our church. I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that when it is in place, our doubts and misgivings will begin to fade away in the joy of new friendships and mutual spiritual growth.

ONA will not be approved by a simple majority of members. The Task Force is asking for a 3 to 1 margin for the resolution to pass. This means, I think, that some of us who are not quite certain of our full commitment to Open and Affirming will have to decide to give it the go-ahead in spite of some lingering apprehension. If this describes your personal dilemma, I want you to know that I’ll be praying for you, that you might be upheld and guided by the Holy Spirit, whatever your decision turns out to be.

Friends, I am a pastor, not a pope. I cannot issue an encyclical, or make a “ruling” and try to enforce it with claims of infallibility. I keep a little plaque in my office which says, “Lord, make my words tender today, for tomorrow I may have to eat them.”

But as your pastor, I am called to preach and teach the Word of God – as I am given to understand it, instructed by the Holy Spirit. I want to tell you that according to my faith and my prayers, according to my careful reading of Scripture, according to my experience of over 30 years in the ministry, according to the insights drawn from my personal relationships, Open and Affirming is the Word of God.

I pray that we will go so far as to allow that Word to prove its power among us. Amen.